Is it just me, or does anyone else feel that the struggle to set boundaries is rooted in childhood trauma? Adulting hits you hard with the realization of how essential it is to establish those boundaries.

Ever been in a situation where someone does something that makes you feel utterly uncomfortable, yet, out of some inexplicable fear, you find yourself unable to speak up? I’ve been there countless times, and it often leaves me wondering if I need therapy—therapy to heal from the unseen wounds of my childhood, some of which stem from passed traumas.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about setting boundaries, especially when it comes to fostering healthy relationships. And if I’m being honest, a big part of this reflection is driven by the thought of parenting. As a parent, you’re responsible for a tiny human who can’t yet express their needs to the world, and it becomes your duty to protect and nurture them. This means setting healthy boundaries with those around your child. But if you struggle to set them for yourself, can you really do it for your little one? It’s a question I’ve been grappling with, and I’m starting to believe the answer is no.

Take a simple example—someone wants to kiss your baby, and it grosses you out. Or your child starts crying at the sight of new faces, yet you still hand them over because you’re told it helps them get used to different people. But listen, setting boundaries isn’t just about saying “no” for the sake of it; it’s about understanding what feels right and ensuring your child feels safe, even if it goes against what others expect.

Setting boundaries isn’t easy, especially when we’re conditioned to prioritize others’ comfort over our own. But learning to say “no” and standing firm in what feels right is an act of self-respect and self-care. It’s about acknowledging your worth and understanding that you have the right to protect your peace, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.

Whether it’s with friends, family, or strangers, boundaries are essential for cultivating healthy, fulfilling relationships. They allow us to connect with others while still honoring our own needs and feelings. So, don’t be afraid to set those limits. Start small, speak your truth, and remember that you deserve to feel safe and respected. Healing and growth begin when you decide to prioritize yourself and your well-being.

Let’s go and set those boundaries, shall we ??

Until next time, adios my people ✌🏾👍🏾